January 2012
1 post
December 2011
2 posts
resolution: reviewed
by john ryan gallagher
the following was a post i wrote this past january about new year’s resolutions. i sucked at them…
there’s a lot of shit i don’t buy into or believe in. ordinarily, new year’s resolutions fall into this category. as i strive for 2011 to be a brighter year than 2010, i’ve decided to give them a shot.
my first...
November 2011
2 posts
October 2011
26 posts
1 tag
blouse
by john ryan gallagher
over the summer i quickly developed an obsession with portland’s blouse after hearing their song about feeling like a shadow. i have felt like a shadow. we all probably have. emo. their debut lp is set for a november release on http://capturedtracks.com/. i caught bassist patrick adams for a few questions:
are you guys blazers fans?
i’m not ashamed to...
7 tags
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flaw sixteen
sometimes i’m fickle. one day i might really like and enjoy something, and then the next day i’m like, meh, no thanks. i go from hot to cold quite quickly. this can range from anything such as records i like to people and places. one day i might think my friend matt shits ice cream, and then the next day i’ll think he’s a selfish pud. i might go on a tear...
6 tags
flaw fifteen: don’t be mad at me. no, really, don’t be mad at me
almost everyone doesn’t like it when people are mad at them. i especially can’t handle it. i’ve been this way since i was little. apparently it taps into some sort of co-dependency issues that i’ve never really wanted to tap further into. don’t be mad. this is something i genuinely want to...
8 tags
flaw fourteen
i lose interest in things pretty quickly. i’d say i was bored with writing about my flaws by day three. i’m not a quitter, so onward through the fog. here are a few examples of other things i’ve quickly lost interest in:
-uhh, going to the gym.
-keeping my car clean.
-the unicycle i wanted so bad for christmas when i was ten that i only used twice.
-any...
spooky: flaw thirteen
as a grown ass man i shouldn’t have to sleep with the tv on because i’m afraid of ghosts. this wastes electricity and money. it is also asinine for me to still be afraid of the dark. i’ve heard too many ghost stories, watched too many episodes of unsolved mysteries, and been to too many fxcked up horror movies. the result is an over-active imagination...
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flaw number twelve i’m constantly in a hurry, anxiously in a rush.
there will be someone slowly walking down the steps to the subway in front of me, and my mind will say is this person for real? are they fucking serious? what is wrong with their legs? are they doing this on purpose to make me late?
i eat fast and as soon as i’m done, i’m ready to clear out. gimme the...
10 tags
flaw eleven
sometimes when i’m at a red light and no one is around, i drive through the motherfucker. i picked this up in southie where urban legend has it that this is legal.
while this might seem harmless, it is, however, against the law and dangerous. it’s also, in my opinion, a gateway to doing other bad shit. once you start pulling crooked tricks like this, what’s going...
7 tags
i eat like a dickhead: flaw number ten
self control is something i’ve always struggled with. needless to say, that theme has turtle-headed its way in and out of a bunch of these flaw posts. sometimes i just can’t stop eating. i’m like a beast and i don’t always eat what’s best for me.
i’ve struggled with weight before. i’ve been fat. like really fat....
8 tags
flaw number nine
as a kid i had charming role models like andrew dice clay and ice t, both of whom, among others, undoubtedly played a role in sculpting the crass and sometimes vulgar person that i am today. this isn’t to shove the blame off myself; i’m happy to admit that i was, in part, born this way (eat that, lady gaga).
you could say, well, shouldn’t you have grown out...
shurrr: flaw number eight
by john ryan gallagher
there’s this thing i do when i want people to shut up and stop talking to me. basically, i answer them with the word ‘sure’. it sounds a little bit more like a fast ‘shurrr’, and it means, i understand what you are telling me, but can you please leave me alone. this is something i do a lot. probably too much.
i...
facebook envy: the seventh flaw
by john ryan gallagher
if you’re spending lots of time creeping other’s facebooks while loathing, feeling jealous, left out, and sad, then you’re wasting your time. you might as well take those precious minutes of your life and throw them the fuck out. the thing is, i’m guilty of this too, and i know it’s wrong. it’s shallow...
the sixth flaw
by john ryan gallagher
i have bad taste. i like bad things:
this week i’ve watched ‘little fockers’ every night when falling asleep.
andy gibb is my idol.
james paterson hasn’t released a book in five years that i haven’t quickly digested.
kangaroo jack is one of my favorite movies. i’d also place xanadu, weekend at bernies, and...
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flaw number five
by john ryan gallagher
you know how there are glass half-full people and half-empty ones? usually i’m half-empty by the second sip. let’s put it this way. i spend more time dwelling on the end of something, rather than appreciating what i have when it’s around.
every year i get depressed leading up to the 4th of july because once i heard someone say that...
10 tags
i yell shit out of car windows: flaw number four
by john ryan gallagher
this flaw ranges from cat calls to shouting things like, ‘hey, you on the gearless bike, you’re not a car, you fuck. get out the way or i’m gonna crush your stupid bones’. i might see a fat kid wearing a jets hat and feel obliged to yell, ‘jets suck, boyee’. a couple lovingly holding...
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procrastinatah: flawcotober, day three by john ryan gallagher
putting shit off is one of my specialties. while many admit to procrastination, few do it as well as i do. it is something i genuinely enjoy doing. here are a few examples of times when this flaw of mine has backfired in the past few months. while these are lessons i should have learned the hard way, i still find it very doubtful...
8 tags
flaw number two by john ryan gallagher i sit while i’m in the shower. if i’m away from home and using someone else’s dirty, crusty shower, i’ll still sit, but i’ll sit on my foot to avoid direct ass-to-floor contact. sometimes i take multiple thirty-five minute showers a day, just to enjoy the feeling of lounging on the floor and having warm water run over my stupid...
6 tags
flaw number one
by john ryan gallagher
here’s the first flaw of mine that i want to talk about. i’m going to try to write one a day for the month of october.
do you ever get put on the spot and commit to something you really don’t want to do? maybe you say yes, even though you have absolutely no intention of following through with the task you’ve agreed to? this is...
September 2011
5 posts
7 tags
the doctor of pizzas
by john ryan gallagher
there used to be this guy in my hometown that would try to pick up all these hot young chicks by telling them that he was a doctor. he had an accent, was very tanned, in his late twenties, had a nice car, and wasn’t afraid to buy drinks for strangers. sometimes chicks would fall for his shtick, which infuriated me because i knew damn well he...
5 tags
http://www.imagensidiotas.com/
9 tags
these things aren’t a drag by juan ryan gallagher these things are good: ice cream and cake, a ride on a harley, seeing monkeys in the trees, the rain on my tongue, and the sun shining on my face. these things are a drag: dust in my hair, holes in my shoes, no money in my pocket, and the sun shining on my face. - rocky dennis the end of summer usually fucks me up a little. i start...
August 2011
5 posts
10 tags
summer reading by john ryan gallagher alas, it’s that time of year when high school students are spending warm days indoors watching film adaptations of ethan frome and pride and prejudice. with the demise of blockbuster and most mom and pop video stores, i’m sure it’s getting harder and harder for these kids to cheat. luckily, ondemand now offers a ‘summer reading...
12 tags
august by john ryan gallagher with the best of intentions, i began a journal on the first day of this month. after three or four days, as with most things, i lost interest. the journal died shortly thereafter. i have, however, taken some mental notes from adventures i’ve participated in over the past few weeks or so. we went camping in the berkshires instead of vermont. that was a...
July 2011
3 posts
10 tags
new adventures by john ryan gallagher i’ve been trying mercilessly to nail the pants off this summer. more experiences, swims, friends, and laughs. here are a few from this past hot week:
raptor birds not last thursday, the thursday before, i went on a guided night hike and owl prowl in little river state park, waterbury, vermont (for more info on the park and prowl click:...
ten things i’ve learned so far this summer by john ryan gallagher jews aren’t buried standing up. i feel like some kid on the playground told me this when i was a dumb little boy. what’s worse is that i’ve spent much of my life believing this to be true. when we were on the way to jenny’s grandfather’s funeral, i was like, now i’m finally gonna see how...
16 tags
five movies i watched this week by john ryan gallagher
the naked face it was my intention to go back to watching classic movies this summer. i wanted to get away from all the pieces of shit i’d been subjecting myself to. i haven’t been able to follow through on this commitment. the naked face wasn’t necessarily a bad movie; it was just very ordinary. it’s roger moore...
June 2011
4 posts
8 tags
summer bewares
by john ryan gallagher
this time of year is great for letting loose and cooling your tool. that being said, there’s some shit i feel as though i should warn you about.
ticks
one night my friend stan told me that he went to martha’s vineyard and got a tick in his ass. this is my email to him yesterday when i needed help for this post:
hay dog, i remember you...
9 tags
camping misadventures
by john ryan gallagher
i spent this past weekend camping with twenty friends on lake elmore in northern vermont. it was a blast. there were tears, laughter, sunshine, rain, food, drinks, and numerous threats of expulsion from the campground. we hiked a mountain, jumped cliffs into rivers, and had an amazing sissyfest singalong around a campfire. i heard wild animals, my...
i went camping with my friends: photographs
1 tag
my top ten favorite burt reynolds movies
by john ryan gallagher
i find it very enjoyable to sit around, either alone or with company, and watch this mustached man with a wig, laugh like a db, drive fast cars, and bed hot chicks. these are my favorites:
photo by http://scottchasse.com/
heat
this, like so many classic burt joints, boasts a classic one-worded title which exemplifies...
May 2011
5 posts
graduation
