meow

i yell shit out of car windows: flaw number four

by john ryan gallagher

this flaw ranges from cat calls to shouting things like, ‘hey, you on the gearless bike, you’re not a car, you fuck. get out the way or i’m gonna crush your stupid bones’. i might see a fat kid wearing a jets hat and feel obliged to yell, ‘jets suck, boyee’. a couple lovingly holding hands might get a shout like, ‘get a room, you buzzards’.  

why do i do this? in part it’s because i’m bored, in need of attention, and because i’m insecure: a self hater who vents his own frustration on others for a strange sense of satisfaction. i get it. i’m different. yelling at bikers, though (and other cars), comes from another place: rage and anger. that’s a major flaw for another day.  

i probably should reign it in and try to curb this behavior. once i start, it’s hard to stop. one time i was asked how i would feel if someone yelled out of car windows at me. i said, ‘well, it happened to me all the time when i was growing up. i didn’t like it. it made me feel small, angry, and sad’. so i thought about it and it’s true. it’s not a nice thing to do. i’m actually more of an asshole for doing this because i had it done to me and didn’t like it. if i can’t say anything nice, then i shouldn’t say anything at all. i should drive in silence like every other jackoff on the road before someone shoots my face off.