meow

i eat like a dickhead: flaw number ten

self control is something i’ve always struggled with. needless to say, that theme has turtle-headed its way in and out of a bunch of these flaw posts. sometimes i just can’t stop eating. i’m like a beast and i don’t always eat what’s best for me.

i’ve struggled with weight before. i’ve been fat. like really fat. i know how impossible losing weight can be.  

a lot of times when i’m eating, it just feels good to keep going. then i feel guilty, farty, and bloated. i look in the mirror and see a fat person staring back at me.  the best way i can work on this flaw is, (like the post about listening to sex rhymes and watching captain stabin vids), to do it in moderation. avoid eating entire boxes of lucky charms in one sitting by not buying lucky charms. buy some cheerios instead. more fruits and vegetables. don’t get a donut every day. maybe once a week? quick story:

every morning i go to dunkin to get my coffee on. the internal voice inside my mind keeps telling me, don’t get a donut today, don’t get a donut today. nine times out of ten i walk through the door, knowing i’m not going to get one, and then at the last possible second i add one to my order. it’s hard for me to say no to them. they’re so good. i usually get a chocolate frosted and eat it upside down (not me, the donut) so i can taste the chocolate.

i’ve tried self control when it comes to eating, and i’ve failed almost every time. 

the more i’ve thought about it over the past few years, weight issues are really just a detractor from life. when you spend a shit-ton of time worrying about your extra pounds or feeling happy because you shat out a few, you’re really just dodging positive contributions you could be giving to the world. it’s a massive distraction. you’re walking away from life. you’re not dealing with the bigger issues at hand. even though i feel this way, i still can’t always get past it, which makes me shallow, vain, and a bitch.

sometimes i wish all people were the same weight. almost everyone would make out on that deal, except for chub chasers.