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flaw number twelve
i’m constantly in a hurry, anxiously in a rush.
there will be someone slowly walking down the steps to the subway in front of me, and my mind will say is this person for real? are they fucking serious? what is wrong with their legs? are they doing this on purpose to make me late?
i eat fast and as soon as i’m done, i’m ready to clear out. gimme the check. let me clear the table. sometimes i’ll be with someone who eats like a normal person and i’ll be like, oh my god, are they stupid? why? are they doing this to spite me? i’m never eating with this person again.
my friends and i might be enjoying a wonderful day at six flags, and at lunch i might say something like, so what are we going to do after this?
sometimes i’ll be reading a book and halfway through i’ll think, well i can’t wait to finish this shit so i can start this other, better book.
stopping to smell the roses has never been my thing. i’m almost always thinking about what’s next. maybe this is because i was born anxious and/or with some sort of ADD. i guess i just feel like when i’m sitting around and waiting, i could be off doing something more exciting and adventurous. i get to feeling like i’m missing out on something, which is something i’ve also struggled with.
great elements and moments of life get missed if you’re constantly in pursuit of something better. sometimes the best things are right there to be appreciated, rather than brushed off or rushed through for something better.
so what does this say about me? probably that i’m immature and insecure. i knew that already. i’m going to try to slow it down and keep a cool tool, which is an expression my grandmother innocently uses.
it’s weird to hear her talking about dicks.
